Getting back into the swing of blogging and Vlogging / My getting a grip on panic attacks

Hi guys, 

So I feel like I am finally getting back into my blogging schedule. I have just also recorded a Vlog that will land either tonight or in the morning. 

It's my delayed three month blog anniversary video. Yayyy

I felt like last weeks events knocked my confidence. One comment undid months of good blogging. But I'm back on the horse people. 

I use this blog to try and bring a focus to things that affect my day to day life. Things that I know also affect a lot of you. 

One that is quite a prominent theme is the issue of mental health. I find this one extremely difficult to project to people that aren;t in my family and friends, because when I suffer, I don't have any physical symptoms to display. 

I had quite an odd panic attack on Monday morning before work. I started to freak out because I couldn't get the smallest details perfect when I was getting ready. My hair wouldn't sit right, my makeup was wrong, my clothes had a crease in them.  My anxiety has OCDic traits to it. 

I felt like I couldn't ring in to work as I wasn't throwing up or in hospital etc. 

It triggered what was to be a four hour slow burning panic attack. I had my regular symptoms of a tight chest, horrible thoughts, the feeling that my breathe was getting away from me and of course I was quite emotional. 

I somehow, with the help of Luke, pulled it together enough to drive to work, get into my daily role enough that I could control it. I had a sugar drink as well (which is something that I find helps me in particular). With the help of my friends that text me, the situation cleared itself by lunchtime. 

I felt though, quite wrongly, that I couldn't tell anyone at work. Part of me wanted to go home, but I thought to myself, how can I tell people that I'm ill if I am visably 'fine'?

I was quite ashamed at the time because I felt that no one would understand when in reality a lot of people have mental health issues hidden under the hood. 

I guess I should take my own advice of talking to people and not suffer in silence. All I can say is that it is a lesson learnt :)

I'm fine now though and although it left me tired , I snapped out of it. 

Let me know your experiences, a story shared is a lesson gained :)

Thanks 

Becky 




Snapchat : Beckydoodah

Comments

Anna Morsillo said…
Girl, I feel you. I just had a panic attack on Saturday because of similar things. I was running late, and I just couldn't figure out what to wear. It was one of those days that you just feel ugly in everything you put on. I started getting frantic and upset until it finally exploded in a panic attack recutting in me sitting in a puddle on my kitchen floor in a skirt and bra holding ice against my head.

I am of the opinion that we need to spread awareness of mental illness because there are too many people that don't understand it. Too many people that say "we all have anxiety..." When I tell them that I have it.

On the other side of that, calling into work or something similar and saying "I can't come int today because I'm having a panic attack and am very anxious" is nearly impossible. It's just not understood, and unfortunately not believed. People will say that it isn't a valid excuse, but it should be. This needs to change.

So sorry that you went through this, but I'm glad you're feeling better!
Lots of love,
Anna
Freeformhappiness.com
Becky Russell said…
I think a lot needs to change, starting with how we think about mental illness. Its not something that can be 'cured' its a lifelong battle
Becky x

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