Getting back into the swing of blogging and Vlogging / My getting a grip on panic attacks
So I feel like I am finally getting back into my blogging schedule. I have just also recorded a Vlog that will land either tonight or in the morning.
It's my delayed three month blog anniversary video. Yayyy
I felt like last weeks events knocked my confidence. One comment undid months of good blogging. But I'm back on the horse people.
I use this blog to try and bring a focus to things that affect my day to day life. Things that I know also affect a lot of you.
One that is quite a prominent theme is the issue of mental health. I find this one extremely difficult to project to people that aren;t in my family and friends, because when I suffer, I don't have any physical symptoms to display.
I had quite an odd panic attack on Monday morning before work. I started to freak out because I couldn't get the smallest details perfect when I was getting ready. My hair wouldn't sit right, my makeup was wrong, my clothes had a crease in them. My anxiety has OCDic traits to it.
I felt like I couldn't ring in to work as I wasn't throwing up or in hospital etc.
It triggered what was to be a four hour slow burning panic attack. I had my regular symptoms of a tight chest, horrible thoughts, the feeling that my breathe was getting away from me and of course I was quite emotional.
I somehow, with the help of Luke, pulled it together enough to drive to work, get into my daily role enough that I could control it. I had a sugar drink as well (which is something that I find helps me in particular). With the help of my friends that text me, the situation cleared itself by lunchtime.
I felt though, quite wrongly, that I couldn't tell anyone at work. Part of me wanted to go home, but I thought to myself, how can I tell people that I'm ill if I am visably 'fine'?
I was quite ashamed at the time because I felt that no one would understand when in reality a lot of people have mental health issues hidden under the hood.
I guess I should take my own advice of talking to people and not suffer in silence. All I can say is that it is a lesson learnt :)
I'm fine now though and although it left me tired , I snapped out of it.
Let me know your experiences, a story shared is a lesson gained :)
Snapchat : Beckydoodah