At the end of the week, a post about Anxiety
I hope that you have all had an amazing weekend.
Mine has felt like a longer one than normal, which is always a bonus. On Friday night, I went to see Ridealong 2 at the cinema.
Then on Saturday I went to a secret screening, again at the cinema, which turned out to be Triple nine.
When the film actually comes out, I will bang out a little review for it :)
Before I launch into the main bulk of the post, I thought that I would share a few pictures of my looks and activities for you.
Firstly, I thought that I would take some red lipstick for a spin.... I never normally wear it as I think it doesn't suit. I was going out so I figured that I would just go for it.... below is the result
( I am wearing Maybeline Baby lips in Candy Apple with a dash of Cocoa Butter vaseline over the top for an extra shine and added protection)
I also found myself with a legitimate cleaning injury. I decided that I wanted to gut the bathroom and sort through everything. I hadn't even noticed that I had broken the skin on my knuckleeeee
Next is my Saturday night look, as mentioned, I was going back to the cinema so I thought that I would keep it casual and cute .... this time opting for pink instead of red lips
I also used the below Nail Lacquers by O.P.I to paint my nails a deep purple : ) (Review to follow)
And finally, I rather proud of the dinner I cooked. I prepared a brown sugar coated, slow cooked Gammon joint with homemade wedges. I then finished it off with the below homemade doughnuts :). I can be a rather refined cook when I want to be but I think that laziness gets in the way alot of the time....
I thought that I would write about some things that have made me happy, because for a couple of days this week, I really wasn't.
I felt my little friend anxiety rear its ugly little head.
I'll set the scene...basically I felt like work was a little crazy in one afternoon. I had already felt a little spacey during the day, I felt as though I was just going though the motions and that I wasn't really in the room. I normally feel spacey if my morning routine differs in anyway or something throws me off.( I have a mild trait of OCD in terms of organisation (not cleaning as everyone assumes) )
Basically the result of the pressure meant that I erupted in a rage.
When I tweeted about it, people wanted to know about it, but its taken a while to put pen to paper.
I suppose the easiest way to describe it is:
The fear of losing control
Feeling as though you have failed before you have tried
The belief that everyone is judging you
Feeling sad and feeling again as though you are being judged.
Wanting to be alone but wanting to still be around people
being unable to articulate feelings.
These are just a few things that come to mind ... I still find it extremely hard to tell anyone at work how I feel.... Just because I don't think that mental health is still understood very clearly.... I mean If I can't find the trigger then how can anyone else?
I read something recently that made me kinda question the way that I look at this situation
I shall finish by saying this. If you suffer from anxiety, you will realise that it is the hardest thing to try and explain to everyone. Although in the attempt in doing so, you help understanding and help to rid just a tiny bit more stigma that is out there.
Keep fighting the good fight and make sure you have someone that can talk you through it.
Let me know about your weekends
Snapchat : Beckydoodah