LIFESTYLE : What the Gym has Taught Me
So I thought that I would write a quick post about an update in my life.
Literally never thought that I would be writing a post like this... but here goes..... I have been going to the gym.....AND I LIKE IT
Yes for real.
I decided to bite the bullet and to commit, I am lucky that my boyfriend is a qualified personal trainer so that I get some quality advice on workouts.
I mainly go after work and as the gym isn't a thousand miles away from home, I walk so that helps with cardio.
I am currently mainly working on getting some strength back in my arms and in my legs.
I am hoping to do tough mudder, but the full version so I really need to up my game!
I have to say that nothing quite beats the feeling of working out the days stress in a healthy way, plus it is bonding time for Luke and I.
I want to be strong not skinny. I wanna lift and I have to say that I am enjoying the challenge of the weight room!
With my anxiety, it was a real challenge to join the gym, but I honestly feel at home there now.
I'm not the typically sporty or thin girl and I have let myself go.
I used to work in a fast food place and I feel as though my body never really recovered from the years of abuse.
But instead of repeated dwelling I decided that it was time to fight back.
Through being Vegan, I have lost alot of weight but in my head, I'm still the same.
I have a very negative body image and sadly, it is something that I have been attacked for.
I think that aside from barded comments from exes, I am still in the mindset that I'm not good enough.
My last serious relationship saw me lose alot of weight, dye my hair and lose myself.... and I think deep down thats stayed with me. It was a really bad time.... ended up getting cheated on and left to pick up the pieces.
I know that it shouldn't matter and that behaviour is unacceptable, but for a long time... I blamed myself. I think I still do.
Its left me unable to take a compliment and to second guess people's motives but eh, they time is supposed to heal you.
I'm a UK size 14 (I've gone down from 18 and lost three stone), but in my head I'm massive. Sorry for this post, its gone in deep, bit I am determined to better myself!
I just can't wait for some of this hard work to pay off haha.
I'll post a little update when I feel confident enough to :) . I intended to do one, a year on from being a veggie, and although there is visible change.... again I feel as though its not good enough.
You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.
Thanks for reading, sometimes my blog is like therapy.
If you want to read more about this relationship. I wrote a lengthly past post about it....