Getting Back To Basics
So I thought that I would write a little reflective piece on a few things that I wanna talk about.
I feel as though this new transition that I am going through is making me re-access everything that is important to me.
This is not in a bad way, just in a natural way.
I've always been a little bit of an over thinker and I hope that once I have these things written down that my head might become less busy.
I thought I would start with the things that I am the most passionate about - I guess that on the top of the list is this blog.
I love Hideaway and everything that it gives me... it gives me a platform in which to express myself and also, its kind of an online diary.
I know in myself that I haven't been as posting as much as I would like... but to combat this, I will be setting up an office in the new house.
At the moment, my flat is filled with boxes and with bags everywhere, so I really don't want to take pictures and I struggle to find a space that I feel comfortable enough in.
This is also my main problem with recording at the moment.
Obviously I have no problem in taking you out with me places - as I did when I went to Hastings last week
Although I did come to big decision in that I have revived Hideaway Gaming as a separate channel. I honestly felt as though it would have been a massive shame if I had not given it another chance.
You can check out the Cuphead video, in its new home...
I'm really happy to have it back as I am someone that would rather have the two separate channels than one big messy one.
I plan to try and do one video on each channel a week after the move. I'm not sure how many I can truly do until we are in with internet.
Speaking of the channels - I honestly think that for the longest time, I have been following others with content. Kind of pandering to what I think viewers want to see and I'll be honest, I think those videos of mine truly suck.
When I started I had a clear vision - I wanted my videos to be ones that stood for something... thats why I discussed some difficult subject on camera.
As I went on, I just wanted views - I said that I was doing it for me... but I wasn't. I was feeling isolated from the world after I moved out from my family home and I had no idea where my life was going.
I had this blog but I wanted more....
After thinking about this for a while, I have decided that I only want to make videos that I want to make.
I have some amazing things coming up - trips, graduation, a new house, christmas, birthdays and a wedding. So I don't think I need to make up content anymore....
The same goes for the blog. I used to prewrite seven posts every Saturday and upload them one by one.
But these posts were very short and they also were not very good in my opinion... So I want to get to the point where I am one ahead and the posts are consistent and actually have a heart in them again.
I've also decided to stop sponsored posts - the ones that I used to do just for the sake of them. You know the posts of which I speak.... I'm only going to feature the things that I truly like the look of.
My free time
So this is big one for me.
I was going through a period of just coming home, going into my bed, eating and sleeping.
This was directly related to what I now know to be a depressive relapse I suffered over the past couple of months.
This was because of the difficult housing situation I found myself in - we are out the other side now. Our new build house is almost ready and we should be in it in early december at the latest.
It got really heated and I dreaded going into my own home for fear of being attacked I guess.
I will write more about this after I have moved out as I feel that there are lessons that should be shared. If I write it now, it might stir up some bad feelings.
So I have forced myself to get stuck into some projects at home to try and break the cycle.
a) I am planning the furniture and decor in the new house - I want to take my time finding the perfect pieces. I don't want to panic buy flat pack as I did five years ago and then wonder why it didn't last. My new house is going to be my haven, I'm determined to make it that way.
b) I have thrown my myself back into cooking - Self explanatory really - but Luke and I were both suffering as neither of us wanted to eat. I know this is really dangerous - especially as I am already vegan and therefore missing out on alot of nutrients. So I need to break this cycle.
c) I am making myself more social - I shut myself off from the world - for the last five years, I've made myself rather introverted in every aspect of my life and I am now trying to reach out and change this.
d) Once again, I've removed myself from Social media - It a massive trigger for me, especially on a down day - I also think that there is stuff that the world doesn't need to know
e) I have thrown myself in gaming and reading. They both offer a form of escapism, something I'm gonna need til I get those house keys! I have set myself one game to focus on, on each console, so its given me something to work towards.
For just over a year, I have been doing monthly goals.
As the urge to save became more and more important, the goals became increasingly mundane.
I have decided to suspend them for November and depending on the house, I may suspend them to the end of the year.
I know that once this massive change happens, I will be free to do more. Its just all about learning patience at this point.
My Health and Style
I touched on this above, however I see moving as a massive chance for reinvention.
My body has already changed so much from going completely vegan at the start of the year.
However, as soon as I move I want to go back to the gym... there is one literally across the road.
I want to tone up and work on the work that my body has already started. I also have deliberately stopped buying clothes so I have found alot of my old ones now fit me.
I want to kind of reinvent my mind, body and soul as I feel like I've lost five years of my life to insecurity.
I also have started taking supplements to try and give my body the nutrients that its missing.
So if you've made it this far... thank you.
To sum up - I'm going through a journey or a transition at the moment and I really want to take you all with me.
I'm hoping that the new content I deliver will change the blog slightly and the channels in a more inserting way.
I feel like I don't need to create drama anymore as life is actually exciting at the moment.
I want to create content that I want to make and hopefully you will enjoy it!
Thanks for reading,
Twitter : @BeckyRussell