Just one of those days.... (a personal blog on Depression and anxiety)

So today was a mishmash of feelings.

It all started by my 11 month kitten peeing on my leg (insert see no evil emoji monkey here), cheers kitty cat.

Then I got rained on, on the walk to work. Left me feeling a little like a Garydos (please see below for reference)

However, all joking aside ( and this is about to get personal), I was suffering a 'low day'. I personally  suffer from depression and anxiety. 

Both can be triggered by pretty much anything. Today it was due to things happening to members of the family and I think a little university anxiety ( I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best that I can be)

My anxiety normally comes out in the form of panic attack, my body's favourite seems to be when I am in a crowd or in a small space. For example, I can't shop in a supermarket when its really busy. My chest gets so tight and I struggle to breathe. I went to a festival once....It was on a beach and my feet sank into the sand, I couldn't move (even writing about it makes me shake)

It can also be triggered by overwhelming situations - both good and bad, I'm worried about every single thing that is happening at once to be able to appreciate it. (I'm a nightmare to surprise)

I also suffer depression - sometimes its so bad, I can't get out of bed. I struggle to function, I don't want to eat or do anything (which is odd because as you will learn I loveeeeeeee food). I am proud to say that I haven't ever allowed either of these things to stop me from doing things in my life - however I'm not going to be as bold as to say that its not been a slight setback. ( For example I failed my first driving test due to doubting myself  and anxiety - but I passed the second time)

People in my life are very supportive - my partner is incredible, but I worry for those those that don't have a support base. I read in the news of younger people taking their own lives as they feel no way out. 

If I can help at all through my writing or through being there at another end of a tweet / message then I will do that. I think there needs to be awareness raised / stigma removed. We are not moody, we feel like we are being torn apart from the inside, feeling like outsiders as we feel sad for no reason 

For those reading this and thinking that they are on their own, you aren't. You are beautiful, you are unique and you are stronger than you think!

Please don't suffer in silence!

(to diffuse the seriousness of this post I have included a selfie that Diego took - he kinda looks like Kayne West)

(But seriously my offer of a friendly tweet/ message stands)


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