Dear my 16 year old self

Hi guys, 

This is a post that I've wanted to do for a while, but I wanted the timing to be meaningful. 

As I prepare to turn 24 at the end of the month, I feel that its time to have a cheeky look back. 

When I was 16, I wrote a list of things that I wanted to achieve by the time I was 25 (for some reason that was my scary age). With a year and a month left to go, I felt it quite amusing to compare my progress so far.  I recently discovered this list in an old diary that I keep, I don't read it very often as I wrote it during a dark time. I don't want to bring this post down so you can read about it here

Firstly let me introduce you to a sixteen year old me: 

I'm on the right and for some reason my hair is really blonde. This is what I was talking about back in this here . I'm pretty sure that its not dyed and I wasn't really into it back then. 

You gotta love cringy prom pictures. 

16 was a good time for me, I moved to a new school, I had a nice boyfriend (weird to think that he is now married with kids (gotta love a Facebook stalk)), I have good friends and the summer felt like it was never going to end

The only thing that I had a downer about was that I didn't understand some of the emotions that I had bubbling away. I later understood this to be a combination of Depression and anxiety. You can read more about this here

the list I wrote consisted of the following : 
Move out 
Learn to drive
Go to Uni 
Be a millionaire 
Be married
Have kids

I'm happy to say that I managed to achieve the first three. I have no idea how I intended to be a millionaire and I now upon reflection think that my current age is way too young to be married with kids. Even though mine and Luke's relationship is solid, I don't think we are ready yet. 

I think the last goal, written in capitals is quite prominent as its something that is hard to gauge with someone that 'suffers' what I do on a daily basis. You can feel happy but then your head will suddenly tell you otherwise. I am on the whole, extremely happy at the moment, my life is on a high. My health is getting better, my relationship is good, work is good, uni is good, this blog is good etc. 

Therefore if I was able to talk to my 16 year old self (and all others out there that can relate)   I would say the following : 

Dear Becky, 

You are going through a really confusing time at the moment, you can't understand your own head, but don't spend nights up worrying about it. Try and focus on the bright future that you have ahead of you. Don't focus on not looking the way that you think you should. Enjoy your friends and family, while you have them around. Stop comparing yourself to other people, you will achieve some impressive things. Don't compare your behind the scenes footage to there best moments reel. 

You're going to go through some horrible things that you won't understand and you'll want to give up. But these things will lead you to your future husband, job and life that you'll cherish. I can't tell you that it won't be hard and it won't rip you apart. But you'll get there. 




(PS - the blonde isn't that bad in your hair and what ever happened to half our stuff? I feel like you are going to put it somewhere safe but then we'll never see it again? Why would you do that? Fool)

So that concludes this part of the flashbacks. 

What would you say to your 16 year old self? 

Let me know 



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