Small Wins and Losses

Hi guys, 

So I decided to write a reflective blog tonight, I think this is down to the fact that I've also recorded a reflective vlog for tomorrow. 

As you know, I have been some what vocal about my battles with depression and anxiety. 

As I am hoping to demonstrate through various writings, it really is a daily battle. But these are always over the bigger issues / topics but can be little things through out the day. 

For example, today I felt had a nice mixture. 

I had a high moment when I was complimented at work but I felt affected by the way that I could hear people openly trying to be my best friend to get one of the doughnuts that I had bought into work. I find it difficult to trust people normally, but to hear people admit it out loud made me feel down. It made me second guess everything. 

I had a high moment when I managed to get all my work done way before it needed to be but I had a bit of a down moment when I felt that I was a little sad that my work shift was over. This is a really weird one as I was sad to be leaving, I do enjoy my job and I felt a little lost by the thought of not going to work tomorrow. I know that I am an odd child. 

These are some odd examples from the day, but I do feel like it is a daily struggle to choose to be happy sometimes. The past couple of days I have been a bit up and down, I think this is due to the fact that I am excited for my Birthday, but I start to reflect on the year that has pasted.

One thing that always gets to me that I feel like I am not making progress in my life or I feel that I am not doing as well as other people. I do have to remind myself however that the sun will always shine on TV or on Facebook. People will always put their best face on and update their pictures and statuses. 

I know that I have had an eventful life so far so I simply have to remind myself. I also feel a little sad about the people that aren't around anymore. I am excited to turn 24 but a little sad to leave 23. It's been a good year for me, and I've made major progress. 

Heres to another great year and moving into a house and graduating (I hope for both anyway). So thank you for reading my thoughts.

Let me know what you are reflecting on, lovely readers 


Snapchat : Beckydoodah


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