My trip to Birmingham & Anxiety strikes again! (Exclusive pics inside)

Hello beautiful people, 

It is I.

I am back after my partner's birthday celebrations. He turned 24 on Saturday so we both took some time off to celebrate. 

I find that 24 feels to be an odd age. You are a year away from 25... when you are supposed to know what to do with your life. Its kind of a clear up year of an age. Basically time to sort your life out and get some foundations.... at least that is what the theory is anyway.... practise is something completely different. 

So on Friday, we took a little trip to a city call Birmingham, which is only an hour away from us on the train so the travel isn't too bad. I've been shopping in Birmingham since I was old enough to go on a day trip with my friends. The train takes you right to the shopping centre / mall, so its fairly straight forward to get there and to go home. 

Luke decided that he wanted to go shopping for his birthday... however we realised a couple of days before that Friday was also famous for a very big reason.... Black Friday

For those of you that have heard the term but are unsure... Black friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving in America... stores will slash prices just before Christmas. We in the UK have recently taken on this little trend...and oh boy do us Brits love a cheeky deal ( well to be fair we love to put the word cheeky in front of anything). Just don't ask us why we do that (we don't know). 

So as expected the train was busy but manageable, below is the standard couple selfie that we always seem to do this time of year: 

While we were there we took in the sites. I took some pictures of the famous Jelly Bean Bull in Selfridges.... 

He guards the sweets. It's rather cute. We managed to resist the call of all the American candy and chocolate (which are vast becoming my favourites....guess I am preparing for the future). 

After Selfridges we went into a few other stores... certain buys will be featured on this blog at a later date. 

For Lunch we had burritos. I tried to take an arty picture of Luke with the Church... but the poor boy was too hungry to pose seriously. 

Now you may have noticed in the title that I mentioned that my anxiety stuck again. Sadly this is very true. For those of you that haven't read the blog before I suffer with anxiety.... it can manifest itself in many forms. This time it was a panic attack due to crowds. I have never worked out why crowds are one of my main triggers...sadly I just know how to control it before it becomes a major problem. 

I'll set the scene. I was in Game with Luke (which if you are reading from a country outside the UK - the store sells Video Games and what not - its one of our favourites)) and basically due to it being Black Friday, it was really busy. This was to the extent that we couldn't move. I think it was because loads of consoles were being sold with massive discounts and some people were buying three at a time. 

Now I had felt a bit anxious leading up to this point.... I was in Superdrug before and I swear to you it felt like the desert in there. I was standing there in a t-shirt (bear in mind its almost winter here) and I was still boiling. I think this was a different issue as there weren't that many people around. 

Back to Game... so I couldn't move, people were actively fighting and knocking people to get through. I found that I couldn't breathe... my chest was getting tighter. I managed to tell Luke that I was going to get some fresh air. I fought my way out and went and sat outside the Shopping centre. 

When I looked down at my hands I saw that I had dug my nails into the palms of my hands... it's normally my first sign that an attack is coming. When Luke came to join me, I burst into tears. I felt as though I had let him down in a major way. That my attack had ruined his birthday. After a quick pep talk we got back in the centre/ mall and resumed shopping. 

I feel like my anxiety sometimes really does get in the way, but I am lucky that Luke is so understanding. Its weird because after I will laugh at myself and I always say that its stupid and the reasons were stupid etc etc. But Luke always corrects me and tells me that I need to focus on myself a little more as my body is trying to alert me to what it perceives to be danger. 

All I know is that.... Black Friday sales are not for me! 

I did try....

Thats it for tonight. If you made it through the essay... Thanks! 

Look out for some product reviews ;) 



(P.s can you believe that its December tomorrow? I can't... let me know what you are all planning! )

Snapchat : Beckydoodah 


Unknown said…
I suffer from panic attacks too and crowded shops are a nightmare and yes with the heat! You get all suited up in winter coat and gloves then enter shops who have heating on full blast. Thats my trigger getting hot then I feel panicky and have to start my breathing exercise especially if im in a queue. Good luck with the xmas crowds you will be fine you have good support there too which majorly helps. Try rescue remedy too xx
Becky Russell said…
Thanks :)

I find that just getting out of the situation is the only thing that works for me :/

But its all good, all the Christmas shopping is now done :)

Becky x

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