When you get way more involved than you thought you could.....

Hi guys, 

So there is going to be a little bit of a different topic than I originally intended. 

The last couple of days have been a bit of a learning curve of sorts for me. 

Basically, on Thursday, I came home from work.... and I started sweating and shaking. I started to feel warm and cold at the same time and I thought oh god I've caught a fever. 

I also couldn't keep any food down.

 I was later told that I had food poisoning, and believe it or not, this was a massive relief for me because I had alot of back pain. 

Now this worried me because I only have one functioning kidney and I thought something was realllyyyyy wrong. 

I've kinda been bed and sofa bound. In this time, I've had along time to think (aside from remembering all the times that I took my health for granted (we all do it especially when we have a hangover....). 

I went back to thinking about the post that I wrote last weekend for the body confidence series, in which I shared a story that upset me and shocked me. 

The original is on this post here .

I decided that I would drag myself to the shower, put on some makeup, blow dry my hair and film a video on the subject as I had some further thoughts (and I was going stir crazy) 

The Video is here : 

However, when I went to film... I never realised how deep my emotions ran, to the extent that I ended up crying a little on the video. 

I guess, I am more human than I thought and I never realised how far talking about my anxiety in a frank way upset me. 

I guess, I still think that people don't understand or maybe then don't WANT to understand. I quite often feel alone in it and then I end up isolating myself because of this thought. 

I figured that I would let you watch it and decide

I'll try and put a more upbeat post tomorrow. 

Thank you for reading 



    Snapchat : Beckydoodah


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