LIFESTYLE : A look back over the past couple of years

Hello everybody, 

I thought that I would post a little something to go along side my latest Youtube video. 

Basically, I have recently swapped over phones and as you do, I went through some of the old photos and random videos that I had on there.

I found some amusing behind the scenes videos so I decided to put them into one place. 

Its amazing to see how much has changed over the past two years, I can see my cats grow from Kittens to my two large balls of fur that I have now. 

Luke used to look really young and is now definitely a handsome man... and me? 

Well I'm certainly less bloated and my skin is alot better. 

In fact, I'll share this picture with you all: 

Whenever, I feel crap about my life, I look at this picture : 

Three years ago almost, I was miserable. 

I was in a job that consumed me and my relationship was falling apart. 

 In this picture I can barely keep my eyes open. I couldn't even be bothered to change after my shifts.... I was too tired.  I was told every day at work how useless I was and this broke me in the worst ways imaginable.  A couple of times, people literally screamed in my face and some one threw a chair at me because I worked late at night and apparently they thought it was funny. 

I have no doubt this is the place that my anxiety was allowed to grow and flourish.  Its something that I have only just begun to try and get a hold on. 

I wanted to better myself, move out, go back to uni, but I didn't feel good enough. 

I snapped and quit on the spot, my life for the next six months was uncertain and difficult. 

Luke and I didn't have alot of money and sometimes difficult choices had to be made. 

We would always spend out last couple of pounds on the cats then ourselves.  It made me realise how strong we were together and apart.  Going to bed hungry was horrible. I think thats why I now try to plan every meal... even though money is ALOT better. 

I then managed to find,  by pure accident, my current job, where I am actually treated like a human being.

 I started to rebuild myself.  Every now and again, I have strong dreams, where I think that I am back in that horrible place. It's as if part of me will never escape. 

 I think the reason that I have such a strong aversion to meat is partly due to my many shifts at McDonalds.... and the things I saw. 

Whenever I feel shit, I think about those moments and how far we've come and how far we have yet to go. 

Life is a strange thing......

I just thought that I would share those personal thoughts with you. 

Until tomorrow guys....



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