Getting Back To Basics

Hello Everyone, 

So I thought that I would write a little reflective piece on a few things that I wanna talk about. 

I feel as though this new transition that I am going through is making me re-access everything that is important to me. 

This is not in a bad way, just in a natural way. 

I've always been a little bit of an over thinker and I hope that once I have these things written down that my head might become less busy. 

My Passions 

I thought I would start with the things that I am the most passionate about - I guess that on the top of the list is this blog. 

I love Hideaway and everything that it gives me... it gives me a platform in which to express myself and also, its kind of an online diary. 

 I know in myself that I haven't been as posting as much as I would like... but to combat this, I will be setting up an office in the new house. 

At the moment, my flat is filled with boxes and with bags everywhere, so I really don't want to take pictures and I struggle to find a space that I feel comfortable enough in. 

This is also my main problem with recording at the moment. 

Obviously I have no problem in taking you out with me places - as I did when I went to Hastings last week 

Although I did come to big decision in that I have revived Hideaway Gaming as a separate channel. I honestly felt as though it would have been a massive shame if I had not given it another chance. 

You can check out the Cuphead video, in its new home... 

I'm really happy to have it back as I am someone that would rather have the two separate channels than one big messy one.

I plan to try and do one video on each channel a week after the move. I'm not sure how many I can truly do until we are in with internet. 

Speaking of the channels - I honestly think that for the longest time, I have been following others with content. Kind of pandering to what I think viewers want to see and I'll be honest, I think those videos of mine truly suck. 

When I started I had a clear vision - I wanted my videos to be ones that stood for something... thats why I discussed some difficult subject on camera. 

As I went on, I just wanted views - I said that I was doing it for me... but I wasn't. I was feeling isolated from the world after I moved out from my family home and I had no idea where my life was going. 

I had this blog but I wanted more.... 

After thinking about this for a while, I have decided that I only want to make videos that I want to make. 

I have some amazing things coming up - trips, graduation, a new house, christmas, birthdays and a wedding. So I don't think I need to make up content anymore.... 

The same goes for the blog. I used to prewrite seven posts every Saturday and upload them one by one. 

But these posts were very short and they also were not very good in my opinion... So I want to get to the point where I am one ahead and the posts are consistent and actually have a heart in them again. 

I've also decided to stop sponsored posts - the ones that I used to do just for the sake of them. You know the posts of which I speak.... I'm only going to feature the things that I truly like the look of. 

My free time 

So this is big one for me. 

I was going through a period of just coming home, going into my bed, eating and sleeping. 

This was directly related to what I now know to be a depressive relapse I suffered over the past couple of months. 

This was because of the difficult housing situation I found myself in - we are out the other side now. Our new build house is almost ready and we should be in it in early december at the latest. 

It got really heated and I dreaded going into my own home for fear of being attacked I guess. 

I will write more about this after I have moved out as I feel that there are lessons that should be shared. If I write it now, it might stir up some bad feelings. 

So I have forced myself to get stuck into some projects at home to try and break the cycle.

a) I am planning the furniture and decor in the new house - I want to take my time finding the perfect pieces. I don't want to panic buy flat pack as I did five years ago and then wonder why it didn't last. My new house is going to be my haven, I'm determined to make it that way. 

b) I have thrown my myself back into cooking - Self explanatory really - but Luke and I were both suffering as neither of us wanted to eat. I know this is really dangerous - especially as I am already vegan and therefore missing out on alot of nutrients. So I need to break this cycle. 

c) I am making myself more social - I shut myself off from the world - for the last five years, I've made myself rather introverted in every aspect of my life and I am now trying to reach out and change this. 

d) Once again, I've removed myself from Social media - It a massive trigger for me, especially on a  down day - I also think that there is stuff that the world doesn't need to know

e) I have thrown myself in gaming and reading. They both offer a form of escapism, something I'm gonna need til I get those house keys! I have set myself one game to focus on, on each console, so its given me something to work towards. 

Goals 

For just over a year, I have been doing monthly goals. 

As the urge to save became more and more important, the goals became increasingly mundane. 

I have decided to suspend them for November and depending on the house, I may suspend them to the end of the year. 

I know that once this massive change happens, I will be free to do more. Its just all about learning patience at this point. 

My Health and Style 

I touched on this above, however I see moving as a massive chance for reinvention. 

My body has already changed so much from going completely vegan at the start of the year. 

However, as soon as I move I want to go back to the gym... there is one literally across the road. 

I want to tone up and work on the work that my body has already started. I also have deliberately stopped buying clothes so I have found alot of my old ones now fit me. 

I want to kind of reinvent my mind, body and soul as I feel like I've lost five years of my life to insecurity. 

I also have started taking supplements to try and give my body the nutrients that its missing. 

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So if you've made it this far... thank you. 

To sum up - I'm going through a journey or a transition at the moment and I really want to take you all with me. 

I'm hoping that the new content I deliver will change the blog slightly and the channels in a more inserting way. 

I feel like I don't need to create drama anymore as life is actually exciting at the moment.

I want to create content that I want to make and hopefully you will enjoy it! 

Thanks for reading,

Becky 

x

 Twitter : @BeckyRussell

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